Deb Lundquist

Author Archives: Deb Lundquist

After 20 years of living with this as a roommate, I feel I know Fibromyalgia well. Now, it is my passion to help people with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain take back control of their lives.

What One Thing Could Help You With Your Pain?

5 months ago50 Views3 Min Read

We Posted the following question to our communities: If you could have one thing to help you cope better with the pain, what would it be? Nearly 190 answers later, it’s clear the gifts that truly matter often don’t come with a price tag. At the end of the day, what many people wish for is comfort, Hot tab, support and understanding — but the occasional spa day doesn’t hurt either.

Here are just some of their answers:

1.A doctor that believes in pain medication or anything that would help my pain because I’m in my 11th year and have not gotten relief yet.

2.A bathtub with a built in seat so I can get in and not worry about not being able to get out. Kinda like the ones advertised on TV.

3.Cool weather, electric blanket. And a pain pill I could tolerate people to understand what I’m living thru each day

4.A hot tub would be one of the worst things in my experience for fibromyalgia you go a weak and can’t even get out.
I have even been stuck in my bathtub are use a shower chair.

5.On of those tubs that they advertise on TV, you it has a door & you can sit up higher, it also has whirlpool, that would be heavenly!

6.Indoor pool that is heated or a big deep bathtub with jets

7.Liquid Percocet, the only pain pill that took the pain away and gave me energy. Was on it for 3 months and felt the best I felt in years. As of Jan 1 it is no longer covered by my insurance and have been bed ridden ever since.

8.Not having to get up so early…I need more sleep in the morning since it takes time for me to get comfortable enough at night to fall asleep!

9.A real friend someone not judgemental,someone compassionate and understanding…

10.I need a dr who will give me what helps and forget the stigma of what is suppisedly bad for you

11.Lifetime supply of legal medical marijuana!!!!!

12.Unlimited $$$ to go back to Hawaii!!! Didn’t hurt for a whole week, and only had one mild headache!

13.Insurance! I suffer daily and have no doctors and no meds since I lost my insurance in 2005. It’s very hard

14.I would love to have a walk in tub, a good massage therapist, and a good friend close by.

15.Right now it would be a trip to the Chiropractor and a neck back massage..

16.Just a nice relaxing night of uninterrupted sleep.

17.A light pain killer and some pot

18.Enough pain meds for a change not having to practically beg for each an every one to actually be able to be comfortable verses just hardly taking the edge off

19.Hawaii and a personal chief to make me healthy food…and do the dishes!lol!

20.A new body.

21.Medical insurance! I lost my job a year and a half ago. Was denied long term disability

22.A doctor who knew what the true symptoms are and not tell me it in my head and that I’m not in pain!!!

23.Electric blanket ad heating pad

24.House on the beach!

25.Stronger pain medication and understanding family

26.Fuzzy slippers and to be 25 again

27.A sunroom with lounge chairs

28.A glass of wine!

29. A real chiropractor that comes to my home everyday.

30. My weight blanket and a heating blanket.

What Is Your Favorite Thing To Do When Your Body Allows?

5 months ago18 Views3 Min Read

We Posted the following question to our communities: What is your favorite thing to do when your body allows it? Nearly 100 answers later, it’s clear the gifts that truly matter often don’t come with a price tag.

Here is what community Share with us

  1. I love to play candy crush
  2. Do a power workout….like cardio kickboxing followed by step aerobics. Seriously.
  3. Be able to run up my stairs without being out of breath! I feel so out of shape and old! Exercise of any kind tires me out so fast! Nut im trying to get some exervise hoping it will help with the pain!
  4. Live life spontaneously. Now every last breath needs pre-planned so I have the energy and wherewithal to handle even the basics. (I love the thought of planning… but I’m really not good at it)
  5. If my arthritis not acting up love doing my garden which getting ready to plant over weekend was in the yard cleaning up even in pain I’d keep moving this weekend was in lot of pain swelling and throbbing this weather not helping any
  6. Honestly,sleep! I hardly get any! I go to bed tired! I wake up tired! And,also spend time with my family shopping or going out to eat! Family time means world to me!
  7. Riding on my sweeties Harley . It’s gonna take a lot of walking just to get me on it this year. .
  8. Work in my vegetable and flower gardens and also walking if my feet allow it.
  9. Do oil painting ! Go Fishing / deer hunting . Cook-outs in back yd. with friends / family .
  10. Spend time with my Husband,Son and Granddaughter all at once!
  11. I loved my job otherwise, fishing and flea market shopping
  12. Play with my daughter on the floor with her blocks. … I can’t get on floor much anymore
  13. Crocheting, working in the garden, getting a lot done in a day
  14. Be outside more with my family in the pool during the Hot Texas days. Instead of in the house feeling depressed.
  15. Jogging …then I do lunges and …within hours I start stifin up and neck hurts shoulders achey
  16. Take my grandbabies to the park and play on the equipment with them
  17. I love to do stained glass
  18. I like to walk around. Go outside when able. I’m a hermit in the cold seasons.
  19. Move…and get things accomplished at a slow pace….because I push and over do it I’m Done.
  20. Get out of my house and enjoy the day by taking a walk, volunteering, pleasure shopping, working in garden, doing something fun with my family or spend quality time with my dear friends
  21. Clean/ get caught up on house work. I also have IT and EDS so between the three not much gets done.
  22. I love to go take a walk by the water. Man I miss that.
  23. Clean my home as much as I can
  24. I love delicious Emily games
  25. Walking down old dirt roads and taking pics.

A Tale of Holiday, Depression and Fibromyalgia

I don’t know what it is about holidays. I know many people have trouble getting through them. Even with family & friends around sometimes we try to throw a smile on our face (while we wipe away the tears) and at least stay on the outskirts. Other times we stay in the darkness until this part passes.

I woke up this morning in pain. All over body pain – I’m well aware that it could be worse – but Lord this has me twisted today as I work myself around it while I need to.

When someone lose their vision the dr ofc refer them to get a seeing eye dog. When someone gets cancer they find out who their real friends are – the people who take them to appointments and stay with them when they are sick. I am so grateful that these few examples have resources available and that there are people out there that care enough.

I’m not able to get a case worker. The place to go in my town should be rebranded a tanning/nail salon because the 1st & 2nd year young “ladies” that are there to “help” people can’t seem to help themselves from mocking clients before they even leave the room. I’ve attempted multiple times throughout the years and its been a disaster every time. I feel for the people struggling with that outlet as I don’t think it is a good environment for anyone dealing with any illness – invisible or not.

My mother is my rock. They are out-of-town right now visiting family and their grandchildren. It’s where they need to be; I certainly wouldn’t bother or take any joy away from that time. Perhaps I can be a monster but not that kind.

What do you do when your closest friends have so much going on in their own lives and you’ve had fibromyalgia & depression as well as other “invisible illnesses” forever and a day u know that you can’t bother them.

I can’t call the Dr on Easter weekend, I have fibromyalgia. I hurt. Nah, I don’t do that.

When I get out the house to refill my meds Ill have more gabapentin but I’m now realizing that once again – take the meds, feel some improvement, adjust to side effects, tolerance, up dosage, up dosage, big pharma winning.

I’ve got depression. Who doesn’t these days? Had it for so long that even as I was waking up I could tell the difference. There’s a Cymbalta depression. Once you’ve taken it long enough you recognize it. Now that’s another medicine. It doesn’t work, stop taking it – oh my Lord what have I done it must have been working better get back on it and up the dose. The torture of not taking it is worse than all the reasons of not taking it – there are SO many reasons not to start it.

I think I handle my depression pretty well, all things considered. I focus on my blessings, I pray constantly throughout the day and I just work to do what I need to do. I have blessings, I’m so grateful – I don’t understand why this isn’t enough to make the depression go away.

I don’t have a St Bernard, or a dignified Mastiff to take along to appointments and encourage me to talk to the drs. I do have a 120+ lb Alaskan Malamute but he’s spoiled and would make everything about him.

I don’t have them there to turn to when (whatever kind of people it takes) to trigger others and I remind myself that God loves me too and so long as I’m on track w/ my integrity, struggling to find the journey the Lord has set for me. I remind myself. Cymbalta depression makes me not care.

My Godchildren are all safe and with family today. I should clean the house but I don’t think that’s on the schedule. I’ve done some dishes, and laundry is almost caught up for the week.

I’m going to pray, try to sleep & hopefully when I wake it’ll be back to the regular depression and not the cymbalta depression. Happy Easter, please enjoy anyone who cares enough to spend time with you when you need it; as well as those that give you space when warranted.

Written by Jennifer Johansson for

@JJsHealthyNutz on twitter

How Do You Forgive?

How do you forgive those that you love for not believing you? How do forgive those who turned their back on you when you needed them the most? How do forgive them when they didn’t ask for forgiveness? Aren’t they supposed to ask for it first so you can be the bigger person?

Well, I found out the hard way that isn’t how it works with Fibromyalgia. That isn’t how it works with RSD/CRPS and that isn’t how it works with abuse. You see you aren’t forgiving people to give them peace and healing. No, you are forgiving people for yourself so that you can start your own healing and move forward. The people you are forgiving don’t even know you have forgiven them and what’s more, they probably don’t even care at this point. You just need to decide where to start. For me, I started with the hardest one, with abuse. I needed help with it and so I asked God.

You see I have a very strange Christian upbringing. For those of you who don’t have faith, just listen through this and I will get through it quickly, I promise. It is different than anything you have ever heard before, I would bet. When I was 4, I got the chickenpox, the measles, and the mumps all in one month. I don’t know how my Mother didn’t go crazy. I remember being completely miserable. I have very good memories back to the age of 2.

When I returned to Sunday School, my teacher told me I was going to ‘hell’ because I had missed a whole month of church! I was 4 for heaven’s sake! I ran out of that room like the ‘hounds of hell’ were at my heels and ran for the sanctuary screaming for Mommy and Daddy! All was quiet. It was right in the middle of silent prayers, of course. ‘Mommy, Daddy! I’m going to ‘Hell!’ I’m going to ‘Hell!’ Quite a shock coming from a hysterical little 4-year old during silent prayer, I’m sure. All I remember, is Daddy running to pick me up and throwing his jacket around me and the minister staring at me from his pulpit high above everyone. In my little mind’s eye, he was the very devil himself. My entire family was there, but I don’t remember any of them, my Grandparents, aunt and uncle and cousins. My Grandparents must have been horrified, they were so prim and proper. I would never go back into that church and still won’t unless there is funeral or wedding. It just feels like the door to hell is right inside that Sunday Room door.

So, my Mom said, I would throw a fit every Sunday if they would try to get ready for Church so we stayed home and as people would drive by, I would stand on the doorstep and yell ‘anyone want to play poker.’ She said I told her if I was going to ‘hell’ I didn’t want to go alone.

When I was 6 or 7, my brother and I don’t agree, we moved to a different house. My Mom always put out flowers next to the driveway and I was not allowed to play there. My brother had a pretty large car collection and I was not allowed to play with them. So, one day I was home alone with the babysitter. I went and grabbed the cars and, yep, went to the flower garden and played with the cars. I said outload, it’s not like anyone can see me anyway and I smiled.

Next thing I know, there was a tap on my left shoulder. I looked all around and no one was there, but I had the willies. I continued to play. There was another tap and then I heard ‘but you are wrong little Debbie, because I can see you and you know you are being bad.’ Well dang. I knew who that was.

I grabbed up the cars and straightened out the dirt, went inside the house and washed the cars, and put them away, and went into my room. I sat on my bed and just shook and shook. I was scared to death.

‘So, you won’t go to church.’ No, I whispered, it isn’t safe there. The door to hell is there and I don’t want to go to hell. ‘Okay. Well, how are you going to learn about me?’ I don’t know. I was crying now because I was really scared. I mean wouldn’t you be? ‘Well, then, I guess the Holy Spirit who lives inside you already, has a job to do, if you will listen.’ Oh, I will! I figured if this thing was already inside me, I wouldn’t be so scary, right?

So, that is how my education in my faith began. I started seeing Angels at a young age. If I didn’t understand something that happened, I would ask and I would always get answers immediately.

As I grew and continued my lessons, they were usually after I went to bed and usually lasted 2 hours, they got deeper, but I never opened a Bible. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even get a Bible until after my Divorce started when I was in my 20’s. I finally found a church that preached the way I was taught after Bob and I were married. That is what I needed.

So, what does this have to do with forgiveness? Well, everything. God tells us we are to forgive and that we are not to judge. Well, that is a lot harder to do than it sounds, right? So, I had to ask for help from the one place that I knew always gave me help when I needed it. God.

I thought first I better work on forgiving on the abuse because that would be the hardest and then the rest would be the easier. Well I was wrong. There is one I am still having trouble with forgiving.

I was 19 when my first marriage took place. It was too young. I was not grown up and was spoiled and didn’t realize that what I felt was not true love. I didn’t realize that the way I was being treated was not the way a man treated a woman. I didn’t think I would ever have any other man have interest in me because I only had one guy ask me for a date in High School besides my ex and he was … well not worth mentioning. Thanks to my Brother, no one else asked me out, but I didn’t know that until after the marriage was over. It would have been helpful to know that beforehand.

When I sat and really thought about everything that had created the circumstances of that twisted married life, I realized it couldn’t have ended any other way. My ex needed extreme counseling and he wouldn’t do it for me. He finally did it for his 2nd wife. What we went through was bound to happen because of his background and when I understood that, with the help of God, I had no choice but to forgive him. It was not easy. I had a lot of resentment stored away. Then, there was my baby boy…but I don’t want to go there. That was harder to forgive and I took him out of the situation. However, forgive I did and a big weight was lifted from my shoulders and came boiling out of my chest. I am still amazed by the healing strength that has given me and the anger I feel at his parents for allowing him to go through what he did. That however, is also forgiven as it was a long time ago and they never knew. They thought they were doing what was best for him.

You see, though, he didn’t ask me to forgive him. The forgiveness was for me, for me to heal and move forward.

The next forgiveness was for the church. Even though I didn’t cause the accident, people at my church seemed to blame me for it. They would say things like ‘you know Deb, he is such a nice man and he feels really bad about what happened.’ I would say, ‘is he.’ and ‘does he.’ Then, I would say ‘and I ended up with RSD because he wasn’t paying attention to what was happening on the road.’ There was no support there, no matter how much I begged for it from the Pastors.

Then, very long and hurtful story, One of the Pastors tried to ‘steal’ our daughter from us. Our daughter was a Freshman in College. The Jr. Pastor had convinced our daughter that not only was I being lazy but that I was driving her insane and that our daughter needed to run away from home and turn herself into the psych ward at the hospital before she went completely crazy. We discovered the plot the night before our daughter was going to run away. This is the one I am having trouble forgiving. The next day, I reported this to the head pastor, her boss and husband. He agreed that they, the church had not done well by me. I had asked him why I got no help when I was put on suicide watch twice and we called the church and asked for help and he said nothing. We asked him what he was going to do about his Jr. Pastor acting this way and he said he would talk to her and he would come back that night. I warned our daughter that when he came back, it would not go well because he could not stand up to his wife. When he came back, he said our daughter was lying. I threw him out of the house and told him if he ever came back I would have him arrested for trespassing. No chance there. I never got home visits from either of them. I turned them into the Counsel and they asked me not to go to the Bishop. I wish now that I had. This is the one I have a problem with forgiveness and ask for help with. So far, I have not gotten the help and the anger just seethes within me still. I think that God must be having a problem with this one too.

People and other Pastors ask me why we stayed at that church for so long. Well, I kept trying to forgive the people who did not support me and turned their backs. You expect your church to be there for you, especially your best friend who you have been at her beck and call over the last year and a half before your accident. But no, she turned her back on me and started telling lies about me and was part of destroying our relationship with our daughter. Yes, I have forgiven her. I find it sad though that she could not be as strong a friend as I needed her to be for me, as I was for her.

We didn’t go back to that church until that pair left. However, I never felt right there again. Still, Bob would not leave. No matter, how much I begged he would not leave, so I would not go. The new Pastor would come and visit me though and he would come and give me communion. He would ask why we didn’t leave because he said I wasn’t getting the fellowship I needed. I would say, Bob won’t leave. He didn’t know where we would go. So, when we went to our daughter’s, we would go to her church. I got fellowship there and made friends. Of course, that is 2,500 miles away.

Well, we have moved. Finally, I can go to a church where people who don’t really know me, know I have a problem and give me support both in church and outside of church. This has given me a chance to forgive the other church for their lack of support. Then, I got a surprise the other day, an email. Yes, an email from someone who I didn’t even think knew I was sick. In the email, she said that she was happy that I had found something to help me and she was glad that I was doing what I am doing to bring awareness to this awful disease. She made me feel better and that maybe there were more people aware at that church who knew. Well, anyway, forgiving the church has helped me heal the resentment there as well. The hurt over the lost friendships? They were probably temporary anyway, since we moved. People will come and go in your life. They enter your life for a reason and then they leave for some reason too. You may never know the why fors, just know that there is a reason. It is nothing that you have done. It is just that their time is over. One door has closed, but wait patiently because another door will open and someone new will enter your life. It brings to mind my friend Sheila. Her boyfriend left her and his excuse was because she was too needy. Well, phew. She has Fibromyalgia. A few months later, a wonderful man has entered her life and this man truly loves her. So, some come and some go. Never believe it is your fault. It is just their time.

Then there is the family, right? When I had the accident, it was probably 6 years before my eldest cousin found out about it. What? His mother knew! My second eldest, won’t even talk about it or anything? As a matter of fact, it is something no one is interested in talking about and I am pretty much someone who is persona non-grata in the family on my Dad’s side. They see me coming and they walk away. There are only 2 female cousins, me and one other (she is much younger than I am) and the spouses of my other cousins seem like we are positive ends of a magnet and so won’t talk to me, therefore, it is hard for my cousins to talk to me. I had an aunt and uncle who were like parents to me. They believed me and supported me. My aunt is gone now and my uncle has Alzheimer’s. It hurts, but again, like my female cousin said to me, they are very busy. They live very far from me and they just don’t have time and their lives are very different. Now, my eldest cousin’s wife has Fibro and she is a sweetheart. We are close to them. So, you love them, you forgive them, and you heal. You know they love you, they just don’t want to be around you.

The very hardest person to forgive is yourself, but why? What did you do that caused you to get this disease? Absolutely nothing! What did you do to turn your friends away from you? You got a disease they don’t understand. Was that your fault? No! What did you do that caused your family to not understand you, turn their backs on you, or even disown you? You got a disease they don’t believe in and don’t want to talk about it. Is that your fault? Absolutely Not! Did you wish for this disease? No! Then why are you blaming yourself? If you had an accident, did you do it on purpose? No! Even if you got the ticket, accidents happen! Not every accident causes Fibromyalgia! So, again, why are you blaming yourself? Even if you did cause the accident on purpose, like I said, not every accident causes Fibromyalgia! So, again, why are you blaming yourself? It is time to forgive yourself and begin the healing process! Then it will be time to move to the next step.

You choose the people to trust to tell your troubles to and you hold them close. Since my accident, I have discovered that you can’t choose your family. When I talk about my family, I only talk about one side. I never talk about the other side. However, I do have a very sweet and loveable cousin on the other side who I try to see as often as is possible. She has had Fibromyalgia for years. I’d say over 30 years and also TMJ and I don’t know what else. She has had to suffer pretty much in silence because she lives in a small town. She has had little support. When she found out I had RSD, she came to the Twin Cities for a visit when we were there to see if that was what she had, but it wasn’t. So, Susi if you read this, I miss you and I love you. She is absolutely beautiful.

However, since my accident, I have also discovered you create a new family from the friends and family you choose to hold close and trust. You can only create this, however, once you have given over your anger to God and after you have forgiven all of those who hold responsible for hurting you so badly. You can only start healing and move on emotionally once you forgive, especially yourself.

I am not saying it is going to be easy! Believe me! It is not! However, now that I have been released from all that hatred, I am at peace. As far as the Pastor’s, I guess in a way, I must have forgiven them some. I can hear their names now without wanting to throw up or walking out of the room. If they walk into a room now, I don’t walk out, but I will never voluntarily talk to them or listen to them preach again.

Forgiveness has to come from your heart. My daughter-in-law asked me one time how I could forgive her so easily. I told her plain and simple, because I love you. Just please, get yourself under control because I do have a breaking point.

You all have so much love in your hearts. I know because you show it every day. Love is a big part of forgiveness. Love yourselves. You are very worth loving!

9. We Retire

Someone forgot to tell Bob as he and his brother work the ground here getting ready to plant. The first year we moved to the farm, it was a very late planting season. On the right side, you see the corner of the old milk house and in the background you can see the bottom of turbines as we sit in the middle of a wind farm. When Bob isn't helping farming, he is restoring the farmhouse. He has installed a lot of windows and has still has 6 more to replace. There are a lot of windows in this house and I love it. Lots of sunshine! It really improves a person's mood to have sunshine inside the house. We didn't have that at the other house. Meanwhile, while Bob keeps busy with all of that, I keep busy with the support group, the Radio Show, and this page.

We bought a 5th-wheel trailer when we retired so we could go on vacations and such and, as it turns out, I use it when Bob works on the house when he is using tools that are too loud for me and the dog. In the mornings, I go to the trailer to finish my sleep. Sometimes, when Bob is working all day in the house, I will work in the trailer as well.

During 2015 when we moved to the farm, we were not ready to move into the house so we lived in the trailer. In November, while the men were harvesting I was thrown from the trailer. That is what it felt like. It felt like someone put a hand on my chest and pushed me and I landed on the grass. I woke up with the dog licking my face. I laid there and took stock of my body to be sure of where I was. I realized I was okay, but I was going to be sore for a while. I slowly got up just to be sure I didn't hurt anything and then sat in the chair for a while before I tried to get back into the trailer again. A couple of weeks later, I got into the trailer, all the way in and I felt like a hand pushed me in the chest again. This time, I was a good 6 feet off the ground and I landed a good 5 feet away from the trailer. I turned myself halfway through the fall so I wouldn't land on my back and I landed hard on my left hip. I laid there for a while praying. Mugsy, good boy that he was, stayed in the trailer. I got up and I crawled to the chair and sat for a while. I had left my purse on the table so I didn't have to go into the trailer to get it and I had my phone. So I called Bob, but he was at the other house, 35 miles away, so he couldn't help. I called my brother-in-law but he was in the field so he couldn't help. It was really late in the season, November, and I didn't want to pull him out of the field. My sister-in-law was in town, so I headed that way trying to catch her. I passed her on the way home and waved like a lunatic. She thought I was just happy to see her. So with broken left hip, although I didn't know it was broken in 2 places, I drove to the ER 20 miles away. By the time I got there and got the attention of the EMTs, the shock was wearing off and I was feeling the pain and I realized I had broken some ribs as it was very hard to breath. After I got 10 lectures on not calling 911 and did I know what the number for 911 was, I finally blew up and said if they didn't help me get inside of the hospital, I would walk in myself. Then I said, 'even though I've broken my hip and a couple of ribs.' Then the EMTs got with it and got a bed instead of one of those little things and put me on a backboard and tried to lay me flat. Well, I couldn't breath and I kept trying to tell someone I couldn't breath but I couldn't talk loud enough to get anyone's attention. When I got to the room in the ER, the nurse thought I was faking the whole thing. She was so rude to me. She couldn't understand why I was breathing so funny and she wouldn't even listen to me when I said I had broken ribs and the backboard was making it impossible to breath. I asked her for something for pain because I knew I had broken my hip and she said she knew I hadn't, I was just there for drugs. She didn't believe I had RSD or Fibromyalgia as a matter of fact, she told me, Fibromyalgia was a myth.

Just then, when ​the Doctor walked into the room, she heard what the nurse said about me faking my breathing. She said, 'listen to the way she is breathing instead of lecturing her. She has broken ribs. We have to get this backboard off of her so she can breath.' The nurse looked at her and said, 'are you sure?' The Doctor just looked at her and said, 'just go get a lot of pillows, like 8.' The she started to get me unstrapped from the backboard. When the pillows came she started to place them behind me and she made sure that I was as comfortable as possible. Then she took my blood pressure because the nurse hadn't done it and all the rest of it. She said you are starting to come out of shock, but your pupils are still dilated. I told her that is what I was trying to tell the nurse but she was sure I was high. Well, I heard the nurse get a talking to and then she ordered x-rays. I figured they would bring a wheelchair and take me to x-ray, but they brought a portable and would not let me move. It didn't take long and the doctor with nurse came in and the Doctor said I had broken my hip in 2 places and had broken 2 ribs plus my back was probably going to be quite sore. The blood tests showed that I had no opioids in my blood, so she was sending my home with some hydrocodone and I was to see the orthopedic doctor the next day. By that time, Bob had come and his brother so that Bob could drive me home and his brother drove the truck home. They fixed up a place in the house for us to sleep and my perfect dream of a husband continues to live up to the dream I had years and years ago.

8. The Change…

Let me introduce you to doTERRA:

I was amazed that three oils could take care of my migraines and I had to learn how they worked. Zena, don't you love that name? The perfect name for a Gypsy. She explained they are not medications, they do not cure or heal anything. What they are, are from the earth. They come from plants, all parts of the plants. You can have two completely different oils come from the same plant, but from different parts. I find it fascinating. Oils can come from the roots, stems, the branches, bark, leaves, the blooms, the flowers, and the stamens. These plants have never been touched by chemicals. Plus, they are grown all over the world, even in third-world countries. These oils are 100% pure. There is nothing in them but the oil that is said to be in them. They are quite potent so you don't need to use much to get the most out of them and they are therapeutic-grade oils which means that they work WITH your body so that your body can do what God intended it to do. 

Not only that but doTERRA has several outside companies testing the oils to test for purity. The oils are tests from distilling to each individual bottle. Plus each and every single batch is tested. 

Back to my story, after I bought the oils for the migraines, I called Zena in about three days and asked her if she had anything for pain. In 5 minutes, she was at the door. She handed me a tube of something called 'Deep Blue.' It was a cream and she told me to put it on my feet. So I did. In less than five minutes, my pain had diminished immensely! I couldn't believe it! I asked her to explain to me again how this stuff works again because it works so fast on me! She said it ​was able to go through your skin and into your bloodstream and flow through your entire body. Your body works with oil, this particular oils helps your body handle pain. She also said these oils can actually get through the cell walls which is very beneficial if you get ill or some such.

Then she said her sister had Fibromyalgia and that she took the supplements to help her with the pain. ​She said that the supplements can really help in so many ways and that it takes about a week to get the full effect. Then she said something that really surprised me. She said that both the 'Deep Blue' and the 'Supplements' had anti-inflammatory properties in them. Well I thought about it. I was already taking vitamins, but I was still getting sick, so I switched and started taking taking doTERRA's supplements plus Terrazyme because I don't have a gallbladder any more. I also started taking their probiotic. I started taking a product called On-Guard because I always was getting sick. It took 4 years before I got pneumonia. I took care of it with oils, but I did go to the Doctor to get diagnosed. They wanted to put me on antibiotics, but I said no. I was over it in 5 days. It was wonderful. Zena had said it would take me a week to feel a difference with the Supplements. It took me 4 days. I was flabbergasted! I mean I was taking a really good vitamin when I changed over and so it shouldn't have mattered, but it did! The longer I was on them, the better I felt. When I got home, 3 months later, I joined as a wellness advocate. 

I made a Doctor's appointment for my 3-month check and after the blood test he started taking me off this medication and that medication. He lowered dosages and was surprised at my blood sugar levels. He was really surprised with my​ migraine improvement and the fact that my neck was moving. He said he wanted me to continue with physical and massage therapies. My Bob had been researching while I was gone and made an appointment for me at the Mettler Center. Ben was wonderful and continued with my therapy. He is great! 

As I continued with the doTERRA, I continued to feel better, I continued to drop medication at my Doctor's suggestion and eventually went from 22 medications to 9, until we started renovations on the farmhouse. Then the Doctor put me on 2 inhalers. It is so wonderful to not have to take so many medications. But let me be clear. doTERRA Essential oils, are NOT medications! They are oils that work with the body so that the body can work as God intended.

Fibromyalgia has More Symptoms Than The Usual 10

Written by Deb Lundquist with sources listed at the end

July 15, 2017

We all know that the main symptom of Fibromyalgia is pain that is impossible to explain to others, especially to people who are really brick walls with blocked ears. The second symptom is debilitating exhaustion that, no matter how much you try to sleep, just simply seems to continually seep into your world with a snap of a finger. You sleep and wake up more exhausted than before you slept. It is so hard to explain to loved ones. Yet you look perfectly healthy.

The good news is that both the National Institutes of Health and the American College of Rheumatology recognize Fibromyalgia as a complex disease which involves the physical body, brain chemistry, mental function, and psycho- emotional health. This complex disease has so many signs and symptoms that aren’t focused on just pain and exhaustion.

Simply Fibro means fiber or fibrous tissue and myalgia means a non-specific muscle pain. There is so much more to it as you all know. We will go into it in a minute. The American College of Rheumatology estimates that from 2-4% of the adult population of the world have Fibromyalgia and most of these, 90%, are women. This does not take into account teenagers or children.

Despite all of this recognition, many physicians still refuse to believe in and/or treat Fibromyalgia because they cannot find anything clinically wrong with the patient during the physical examination. They don’t believe what the patient is saying and they don’t run all of the tests that need to be run.

Signs and Symptoms of Fibromyalgia Classified By Body Area

Muscle-Related Symptoms:

• Constant/chronic pain in muscles all over the body, especially in the shoulders, neck, lower back, and hips

• Muscle spasms or cramps, including heart palpitations

• Tight muscles

• Muscle and joint stiffness upon waking or after sitting in one place for an extended period of time

• Muscle aches and tenderness in the face, particularly the jaw

• Temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJ)

• Poor recovery after exercise, or avoiding exercise altogether due to pain

• Muscle weakness in the arms or legs

Energy-Related Fibromyalgia Symptoms

• Moderate to severely debilitating fatigue

• Complete lack of energy, feeling “wiped out” most of the time

• Insomnia due to constant pain at night

• Feeling exhausted, even after a decent night’s sleep

• Hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar levels

Mental Concentration Fibromyalgia Symptoms

• Brain fog, often referred to as “fibro fog”

• Difficulty remembering simple things

• Difficulty concentrating

• Difficulty with mental math or other simple mental tasks; “can’t think”

• Short or long-term memory loss

• Inability to multi-task

• Attention deficit disorder


Gastro-intestinal Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

• Irritable Bowel Syndrome

• Abdominal pain

• Bloating

• Nausea

• Alternating between diarrhea and constipation


• Leaky Gut Syndrome

• Candida

Neurological Symptoms Related to Fibromyalgia

• Numbness or tingling sensations in the face, hands, feet, arms, or legs

• Feeling as if the hands of feet are swelling, but without evidence of edema

• High sensitivity of any of the following: bright lights, noise, cold temperature, certain odors, or foods

• Urinary urgency-feeling as if the bladder constantly needs to be emptied

• Migraine headaches

• Tension headaches

Psychological Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

• Anxiety and panic

• Chronic clinical depression

• Post-traumatic stress disorder

Hormonal-Endocrine Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

• Adrenal gland dysfunction

• Pituitary gland dysfunction

• Thyroid gland dysfunction

• Low insulin levels

• Growth hormone dysfunction in some cases


Web, “Symptoms of Fibromyalgia”


· Be Positive! Negativity can not only cause stress, it can deepen your depression.

· Improve Nutrition!


· Go Holistic! Some medications may be necessary, but reduce your synthetic footprint as much as necessary!

· Reduce Toxins!

· Become Active! Join activities outside your home. Just one to start with, even if you have to cancel sometimes. At least, you will start meeting people.

· Possibly start a support group in your local area. They are needed. Let us know so we can start promoting them. We have lots of information you can use!

· Get rid of stress in your life! Stress can not only make you sick, it can make your Fibromyalgia worse.

· Learn how to read your body and listen to it.

· Make 3 journals:

1. 1 to keep track of what you eat and drink and how your body reacts over the next 2 days;

2. 1 to keep track of your activities and how you react and then figure out ways to change how you do your activities and how your body reacts;

3. 1 to act as a journal to track your emotions and how your day went.

· Learn how to meditate.

· Learn how to go to your happy place.

· Learn how to do Yoga (not at home, go to a professional to be sure you are doing the moves right.)

· Massage with essential oils, explain exactly what is wrong with you before the massage begins.

· Epsom salt with sea salt (so your skin won’t dry out so bad) with essential oils. Then apply your favorite lotion all over your body, one with nutrients but no toxins.

· When your body says stop, stop. When it says rest, rest but don’t rest for days and days.

· Learn to pace yourself.

· Only drive when you are absolute sure you are safe to drive.

· Say your affirmations every single day!

1. I am NOT alone!

4. I still have a purpose!

2. I am loved!

5. I am a special person!

3. I am needed!

6. I have special empathy!

Driving and Traveling With Fibromyalgia

Written by Deb Lundquist

July 12, 2017

Before Fibromyalgia, did you used to grab the car keys without any thought and race to the car, start it, put your seat belt on and just take off to wherever you were going? You knew exactly how to get there and so you didn’t even have to think about the route you were taking? It was like the car just automatically knew, so all you had to think about was traffic? You could sing with the radio and it didn’t distract you. You could talk to the person next to you, you could laugh. You could park fairly easily.

You could travel with ease. You enjoyed it. You could go anywhere and often did.

Then you developed Fibromyalgia and probably a few other things as well. At first you didn’t know what it was, but you noticed your concentration was making things difficult, especially things like driving. For another thing, you noticed you were tired all the time, so it was a little scary driving because you never knew when the total exhaustion was going to hit you.

Sometimes your eyes would get blurry. Sometimes your pain would be so bad, you couldn’t push the gas pedal, let alone the break. Sometimes you were just too weak to even get off the couch, so how were you supposed to drive?

Things distracted you so easily now; the radio, someone else’s radio, conversation in the car, the baby’s crying, someone arguing on the street corner. People honking their horns because you didn’t start right away when the light turned green.

You get lost easily because you forget where you are going. You have to really think out a plan of your route now, because otherwise you might not get there as soon as you are supposed to because you get lost.

You are forgetful, so you might not even go where you are supposed to in order to meet someone, or maybe you just don’t feel like going.

Maybe you don’t feel like you aren’t safe driving anymore. I finally got to that point. I finally got to the point where I felt like I might not be seeing other drivers after my last accident, even though the policeman said he almost hit his superior’s car because of all the smoke. He didn’t give me the ticket. He said it wasn’t my fault I didn’t see the car. It was the farmers for starting the fire during unsafe conditions.

I quit driving all together until about 2 months ago. I will drive now because my head is clear, but I would not until then.

Then how do you get comfortable traveling now that you have Fibromyalgia? You feel everything!

What Can You Do To Improve Your Ability To Drive?

Treat Your Fibromyalgia Symptoms.

There is no cure for Fibromyalgia at this time, but who knows what the future might bring. Once they find the cause of Fibromyalgia, it may be closer than we think to a cure. Until then, we can only treat the symptoms.

Proper Nutrition:

High Quality Nutrition, Plus


– D3, 5,000 mg

– Magnesium Glycinate = the magnesium especially for Fibromyalgia. Take the same amount of this magnesium as you take Calcium

– Calcium, 1,200 mg

– Vitamin C, 1,000 mg

Treat Your Depression:

– see a psychologist for discussion and get rid of stressors and other distractors

– See a psychiatrist to get the right medications you need that can not only help your depression, but help with your nerve endings as well.

Get Good Rest:

– Before you set off to drive someplace, even if it is just to the grocery store or the kids to school, be sure you had a good night’s sleep. If you need to get help from your Doctor do so or you can use holistic methods …


– Get Sunglasses that wrap around your head so the sun can’t blind you from the side.

– Fibromyalgia can cause allergies and dry eyes. My eye Doctor gave me Ketotifen Fumarate Ophthalmic Solution. My eyes were so blurry, it was so hard to see. I put one drop in each eye, morning and night and it is so soothing and really clears my eyes. It makes driving much easier.

– Wear a hat to protect your eyes from the sun as well.

– Try not to drive at night, because it is harder for us to see at this time.


– Wear ear plugs to drown out some of the outside noises that bother you, not all the sounds. If you do listen to music, keep one ear plug or bud out of your ear so you can hear sirens and such.

– Don’t use your cell phone, even if you have it tuned in to your car. It is a distraction.


– Put on lip balm so that your lips don’t get dry while you are driving causing another distraction.

Back Brace:

– The Physical Therapist said if I was going to be driving or riding for a long period of time to get a well-fitted back brace to wear while traveling. I have found it extremely helpful.


– If you are driving and the steering wheel vibration bothers you, like it does me, wear soft gloves to help. Plus, with the sun beating on the on the steering wheel it is too hot to handle, gloves will help with that too. Even if you have a sunscreen up, the heat of summer will heat the steering wheel and distract you when driving.

– Pillows to sit on will help vibration from the road on your bottom from bothering you. We had an air coil pillow for this purpose. It was perfect.

– A pillow along the small of your back may help your comfort as you drive.

– You may need a pillow along the whole of your back for vibrations.

– If you are a passenger, you may need to put a pillow on the floor for your feet to sit on for the vibration of the floorboard. I know I did.

Swelling of your Feet & Arms
Feeling of the Air Conditioner Blowing on Your Arms

– Wear Compression socks on your legs to help with swelling. This will also help over sensitize your nerve endings and the pain will probably lessen. That is what it does for my arms.

– Also get smaller compression socks for your arms, cut the feet out of course. This will do the same thing for your arms. I do this all the time and it helps me immensely. The air conditioning or fan doesn’t bother me. The pain eases and my nerves ease as well.


– Make sure you take water so that your thirst does not cause a distraction. Do not take a drink, however until you are at a stop.

Before You Start Driving:

– Make sure you have make all the seat and mirror adjustments and you are as comfortable as you can be.

– Make sure everyone in the car has their seat belt buckled.

– Make sure everyone in the car knows they have to be quiet and not to become a distraction for you. Be sure that they understand the situation.

Stop Every 2 Hours

– Stop at least every 2 hours if you are taking a long trip and switch drivers if you can. If not, then stop for at least 15 minutes. Stretch, walk a little, get the kinks out, go to the bathroom, do whatever it takes to get you alert. If that means eat a meal, then do so. If that means take a nap then do that. Don’t get back on the road if you are tired and you are alone. Don’t get back on the road if that means you are in a lot of pain because that means that you will be very distracted. Stay on your break until you get everything under control again before you start driving again. Make the road trip safe for yourself and others. Make absolutely sure all of your distractions are under control.

If You Get Leg Cramps When You Are Driving:

– Take some more magnesium glycinate, vitamin D3, potassium, or, if you don’t have a heart problem, lick some salt. If you have some rub some magnesium cream on your leg. Then walk the cramp out. If it is in your foot, stand on your toes, or rub the tendon in the arch of your foot until it goes away and then keep rubbing it. I get these once in a while and I usually end up having to take potassium and salt. I have always had a problem with low salt.

Communication Is The Key

Written by Deb Lundquist

June 4, 2017

Ever since you started feeling sick with Fibromyalgia, you have been afraid. Your family has been concerned. After the first ten days, when the doctor said he couldn’t find anything wrong with you, your family and friends started doubting you.

Is that the way it went for you?

Communication is the key!

If you feel like you have the achy kind of flu, but it goes on for more than 2 weeks, that is not normal. If things feel like gravity has changed, everything is heavier, your legs, your arms, your head, even your shoulders. That is not normal. If every sound is bothering you, smells are affecting your stomach in weird ways, your eyes are blurry, it hurts to be touched, things taste funny. That is not normal.

Write these things down. Put them on the Frig so your family can see them and have a round table so you can have a discussion about them with your family.

If your pain consists of several different kinds of pain; achy, lightening, stabbing, whatever, write it down. Put it on the Frig and talk to your family about it so they are in the know.

Communication is the key!

Then keep this list. Ask your doctor for a referral to a Rheumatologist. Fibromyalgia is under the umbrella of the Arthritis Association and so it makes sense that a Rheumatologist should treat us. Also, in an article I just read, it said that after Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia was the second most common disease treated by Rheumatologists.

Communication is the key!

Take some of your family members with you whenever you go to a doctor from now on, never go alone! Why? This will help them understand that you are not delusional! Also, they will be able to remember things that you won’t.

Bring notes, bring questions to every doctor’s appointment. Make sure they answer every one of your questions and if they won’t take the time, either say ‘excuse me, I’m not done’ or Fire them and get a new doctor who will. We have a site where you can look up doctors in your area. Take notes with the answers to your questions.

Have your family member make sure your questions are answered and that the doctor doesn’t leave until they are. After all, you are sick and they should be able to stand up for you.

Communication is Key!

You need to have tests done to be sure that you really have Fibromyalgia. There really is not a definitive test for the disease, but Fibromyalgia mimics so many other diseases that it would truly be sad if you ended up with a different disease, but were treated for Fibromyalgia for years because you didn’t have blood tests done.

There was a woman in our support group who was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 15 years ago and has been suffering debilitating pain and other symptoms that could not seem to be treated. Finally, the doctor ran a bunch of tests on her a few weeks ago. She was just diagnosed with Lupus and is being treated for that. She feels so much better. Her diagnosis of Fibromyalgia has been dropped. For 15 years, she has suffered unnecessarily because she wasn’t tested in the beginning.

Demand the tests! They are so simple and if the doctor says he doesn’t have any way of running the tests, he is wrong. They are simply blood tests and any lab should be able to run them. Any hospital that has an MRI machine should be able to test for MS or Parkinson’s Disease.

Communication is Key!

What are the tests?

They are so easy. Simple blood tests. Checking for vitamin deficiencies, Thyroid disease (there are 6 markers), untreated Diabetes, Lyme’s disease, Lupus, Kidney’s and Liver if you have been taking too much Advil or Tylenol, Arthritis (several different kinds), and then now they are saying to check for virus’ as well. Then get an MRI to check for MS and Parkinson’s Disease.

Then when they do the 18-point test, if you are positive in 11 spots, and after a thorough physical examination, plus a consultation, if the tests above are negative, they can diagnose you with Fibromyalgia. If they don’t do the tests, they could be misdiagnosing you and how sad would that be!

Communication is Key!

Don’t stay isolated! I know you are in pain and you feel crummy. You know I have it too. I know what where you are coming from. But are you really going to let this disease win? Really? Don’t Let this beat you down!

Most people with this disease are Type A personalities! So, come on. I know a lot of you are in flares right now. I am so sorry! I hate flares! We need to find you a way to get you out of these flares without medication.

I don’t get them anymore, or I guess I should say, not very often. Sometimes, I will say I am going to take a Fibro day, which just means I want to sleep and play computer games. But, in actuality, it is just an excuse not to work. I tend to work 7 days a week, so I need to make an excuse to not work.

Communication is Key!

What do I do so that I don’t flare? I watch the weather and pay attention to where the storm fronts are and then I prepare for them. I watch for how high the wind is going to be because that and the cold is what really get to me! Everyone is different though. Different things cause flares for different people.

Then, I use holistic methods to take care of my Fibromyalgia. Yes, I am on some medications, but I was on 22 medications 18 years ago. Isn’t that awful! Two of those were OxyContin and Norco. I had RSD/CRPS at the time. I had everything else too, I just didn’t know it because RSD/CRPS is so horrible! I am now on 9 medications and they are for remaining symptomatology of the RSD/CRPS. I am totally off any kind of pain medication and I plan on never getting back on it as it can cause Fibromyalgia to get worse. I take no medication for Fibromyalgia or my Complex Chronic Migraines. I treat them both holistically. Actually, I treat everything that way.

What do I mean? If you have faith you will understand this part. Well, I pray and talk to God and Jesus a lot! It is amazing what happens when you put your trust in them. I ask for their guidance and they give it daily. I think as you get older you learn to trust them more and more. When I had active RSD and it got to be too much, I would pray for help because I just couldn’t take it anymore! Next thing I would know it would be 5 hours later and I would be waking up and my pain would be lessened. I have many other stories of how God would intervene in my life when RSD was so terrible before I learned how to handle it. The Trinity guide me now in everything in my life.

They led me to doTERRA Essential Oils first and I have to say, the oils go with me everywhere I go, car or plane! I put them in my carry-on and I have never been questioned about them. The wonderful thing about these oils are they come from the earth by way of plants that are untouched by any kind of chemical. They come from all over the world, even 3rd world countries, and with all these different countries growing these wonderful plants and distilling the oils, the company gives back to these countries ten-fold. The oils are tested, not just by the oil company, but by outside companies as well and every single batch of oil is tested from the beginning right down to each individual bottle. Since each drop of oil is pure oil with absolutely no synthetic in it and since our bodies also are not made with synthetics, our bodies accept the oils and they work together. The oils give the body what it is missing so that it can do what God intended the body to do. The oils do not heal or cure. They are not medicines in any way, but they help the body. There are oils for everything. The ancient Egyptians used essential oils and proof of this is found on their hieroglyphics. The ancient Chinese also used essential oils and proof of this is found in their ancient writings. Oils were used in Biblical times and are mentioned hundreds of times in the Bible. Jesus was anointed with oils. It is the only thing they had in those days for illnesses. However, like I said, they are not medications. Oils can be used aromatically, on your skin, and some can be taken internally. I use them all three ways to help my pain, my mood, my sleep, weight loss, and even my concentration. Oh, and did I say I use them for my migraines. I even use them on my face, my bath, to wash my hair, in our laundry, to clean our house, to wash our hands, oh gee just everything. We used them on my last grandbaby when he was born and he was fussy, when he wouldn’t go to sleep at night, when we discovered he had Celiac Disease and someone gave him some cereal at Sunday School… Did I say I love these oils! I don’t guarantee that they will work the same for everyone like they do for us, but … they even can stop gas and dare I say passing gas…. (wasn’t that a nice way of saying that?)

Then I was introduced to another product and I must say this one absolutely shocked me. I was really skeptical about this one, but I was given a free bottle to try and so I decided it wouldn’t hurt to try it since it was free. Right? Drinking just a little bit at a time of that first bottle gave me the gentlest body cleanse I have ever had. I ordered a case before I ran out of it. Next I noticed that my IBS was gone. That in itself was worth what I was paying for it. I decided I would increase the amount I was drinking and see what happened. Slowly my pain decreased bit by bit and I realized that I wasn’t using as much of doTERRA for pain (I still use it for a bunch of other stuff!) Then I was surprised to discover that I virtually didn’t have any pain at all! I kept drinking it, wondering what would happen next. About a week later, I woke up, jumped out of bed, got dressed, got ready for the day before my husband could wake me. My mind was completely clear! I had energy! I was happy! I loved life! No pain and I hadn’t had anything to drink yet! I went into the kitchen where he was and surprised him. I just smiled.

That day I accomplished so much! I even wrote a children’s book.

The next day was just the same.

So was the next and my husband said to me, ‘welcome back. You’ve been gone a long time. I’ve missed you so much! I’m glad you are back!’

The product isn’t some miracle drug. It isn’t a drug at all. It is a highly nutritious drink and it tastes like Mango juice. I have only been drinking it at the higher amount for 2 months and they say you get the full effect about 3 months, so I can’t wait to see where I am in another month. However, I am so happy where I am right now that if I stay where I am right now I am fine with it.

So now, I use both products because the products are so incredibly awesome!

If you are interested in either of these products you can contact me by either calling me at (815) 214-9443 or messaging me through the support group on Facebook – Your Fibromyalgia or continue on this site to the

7. And Then

Realizing that something was missing in my life, I started searching and researching again. I didn't have Osteoporosis, but I kept getting sick and I was constantly on antibiotics. Because I was on antibiotics so much, I had to be on strong ones and always for at least for 3 to 4 weeks. I absolutely hated it. I drank a lot of tea and pop or some people call it soda. I didn't drink that much water. I was on a really good vitamin regimen and the guy I was getting them from was trying to help me figure out what was wrong.  

This continued for several years. My beautiful Granddaughter was born and my wonderful Grandson was born with the greatest brown eyes that just melt my heart. I babysat them when I could but it was hard and I often had to cancel at the last moment which didn't go over well, as you might imagine. 

Then my complex chronic migraines started and my neck froze in one position, forward. I simply couldn't move it at all. The Neurologist gave me a shot in the back of the head without explaining what he was going to do and I thought I was going to pee my pants. It did nothing. He sent me to Physical Therapy and that didn't do any good. Then, he put me on 2 very strong medications that should not have been given to me outside of the surgery room, or at least a hospital setting. One was Versed which is a drug they give you during surgery so that you will forget everything that happens during surgery and the other I forget because I was on Versed. I had to write down when I took it because otherwise it would have been too easy to overdose on those. I was also taking advil. None of it worked. I was supposed to be babysitting at the time, but the kids were babysitting me. When it was time to  eat, I had to be woken up. My Grandson would poke me in the nose and say 'Nana, nana, nana' and I would wake up and then he would poke me in the nose and say 'Nana, nana, nana' chew and I would chew. Then he would poke me in the nose and say 'Nana, nana, nana' swallow and I would swallow. That is how I would eat and the same would happen when I drank something. 

This went on for a time, then I went to physical therapy, well someone drove me, as you might imagine I didn't feel like I was safe to drive. Physical therapy said that they didn't feel like they were making any progress, so they were dismissing me. I was shocked. My next appointment with the Doctor, I was going to complain to the Doctor but his office called and said they were dismissing me as their patient because they felt that I was just using them for drugs. I couldn't believe they both dismissed me on the same day and I still couldn't move my head and my head hurt so bad I couldn't think. When Bob came home, I was crying. To say he was angry is an understatement.

Cecil was pregnant and it was getting close to her time and she was having a lot of pain. She wanted me out there. She lived in Washington State at that time and worked at a Christian All-Year Camp. She loved it. It is where she met her husband Z. So, I called her Neurologist and made an appointment and through them made an appointment with Physical Therapy and Massage Therapy which was in the same place. My Granddaughter was so upset about me flying in the condition I was in, that she called Cecil and explained everything that was happening and how I was behaving. She said she didn't think I was safe flying by myself. Everyone was consulted and it was decided I was going to be okay if I told the airline attendant what was going on with me. So that is what I did. I don't even remember the trip.

When I got off the plane, there was a wheelchair waiting for me. He took me to get my luggage and there were my Cecil and Z waiting for me. They could not believe how bad I looked. I kept saying I don't feel good, I need to eat. Over and over and over again. Well as it turns out, in the airport while waiting for the plane, I was sitting next to a woman who had a security dog. She had Epilepsy. The dog had been sleeping on the floor and I had been playing games on my phone, when all of the sudden I noticed the dog's ears perked straight up and he looked straight at me. I quit playing my game and looked at the dog and the woman next to me quit talking to her companion and looked at me. The dog sat up and put his paw on my knee and then his head on his paw. I said 'Hello' and the woman asked if I had Diabetes and I told I did and asked her why. She said the dog was giving the signal for low blood sugar and that I needed to get something to eat NOW. She took my hand and the dog walked between us right by my knee. She took me to a smoothie shop and bought me a smoothie. I drank the whole thing. Now that would normally be okay, except I'm allergic to milk and I wasn't alert enough to realize smoothies were made with milk. After we got to Cecil's house, she put me to bed, but I couldn't sleep. Two days later, we went to the Neurologist. He took one look at the medicines that I was given, swore like a sailor, and threw them in the garbage. He asked what kind of Doctor gave you them. I told him and he said never again. So he gave me shots to give myself, but all they did was stop me from vomiting. Then I started the two therapies. Can I say, I have never had massages like the ones I have had like the ones there? Two hour massages that actually put me to sleep. She would massage my entire body, well not my privates, she also concentrated on my shoulders, back, neck, and my head. She would say 'your neck and head are so tight and stiff.' I loved it when she gave my head massages. She didn't use oils, but she used lots of lotions. Whenever I am back in Washington I go back for Massages. Between the physical therapy and massage therapy, they unfroze my neck, thank the Good Lord! Sometimes I still do the exercises and I really need to do them more!!!! It is unlocked though and I am very happy!

When I got off the plane, there was a wheelchair waiting for me. He took me to get my luggage and there were my Cecil and Z waiting for me. They could not believe how bad I looked. I kept saying I don't feel good, I need to eat. Over and over and over again. Well as it turns out, in the airport while waiting for the plane, I was sitting next to a woman who had a security dog. She had Epilepsy. The dog had been sleeping on the floor and I had been playing games on my phone, when all of the sudden I noticed the dog's ears perked straight up and he looked straight at me. I quit playing my game and looked at the dog and the woman next to me quit talking to her companion and looked at me. The dog sat up and put his paw on my knee and then his head on his paw. I said 'Hello' and the woman asked if I had Diabetes and I told I did and asked her why. She said the dog was giving the signal for low blood sugar and that I needed to get something to eat NOW. She took my hand and the dog walked between us right by my knee. She took me to a smoothie shop and bought me a smoothie. I drank the whole thing. Now that would normally be okay, except I'm allergic to milk and I wasn't alert enough to realize smoothies were made with milk. After we got to Cecil's house, she put me to bed, but I couldn't sleep. Two days later, we went to the Neurologist. He took one look at the medicines that I was given, swore like a sailor, and threw them in the garbage. He asked what kind of Doctor gave you them. I told him and he said never again. So he gave me shots to give myself, but all they did was stop me from vomiting. Then I started the two therapies. Can I say, I have never had massages like the ones I have had like the ones there? Two hour massages that actually put me to sleep. She would massage my entire body, well not my privates, she also concentrated on my shoulders, back, neck, and my head. She would say 'your neck and head are so tight and stiff.' I loved it when she gave my head massages. She didn't use oils, but she used lots of lotions. Whenever I am back in Washington I go back for Massages. Between the physical therapy and massage therapy, they unfroze my neck, thank the Good Lord! Sometimes I still do the exercises and I really need to do them more!!!! It is unlocked though and I am very happy!

Cecil was really in a lot of pain. More than she should have been and I really didn't like it, so I went to her next Drs appt with her. She knew she was going to have a little boy and he was giving her trouble. Cecil didn't tell her Dr she was in pain, so I said 'don't you have something else you want to talk to her about?' She said 'no Mom, it's normal I'm sure.' I told her it wasn't and so I looked at the Dr. myself and told her that my Cecil was in a lot of pain. She asked my Cecil how high her pain level was and when she said 9, the Dr. told her to lay down again. She did something to help her go into Labor.

She went to the maternity ward about 3 times before I finally would not allow them to send her home. She wanted to do labor naturally, but with her active endometriosis the pain was just too bad and between the nurse, her best friend and myself, she finally agreed to an epidural. Finally, her little red-headed baby arrived and Z and I were there to help with the whole thing. Everyone kept trying to get me to sit down, but even though I was in pain, this was something I was not going to miss. I am so glad I was there. It truly was a miracle! 

The Doctor put my little Grandson, Kins, on Cecil's tummy and he wiggled his way up to her chin. He never cried until they took him away from her to weigh him, clean him up, get his foot print and all that stuff that they have to do. As soon as they put him back on her, he stopped crying. She tried nursing him, but he was too tired. So the nurse put him in the little bed and Cecil went sound to sleep. Kins got cranky, so I picked him up and put him under my chin and he settled right down and then I started humming and we have had a close relationship to this day. 

Two weeks later, Bob came to meet Kins. He had been out there for about 3 days when he said, let's go for a drive and get everyone out of the apartment for a while. So we bundled little Kins up and headed out to the van. My migraine was still really bad so I had on a floppy hat, sunglasses and my eyes were at half mast. I was walking very carefully with a cane.

All of the sudden, a woman came running out of one of the lower apartments and came to a halt right in front of me. She looked like a hippie, she calls herself a gypsy. 'You have a migraine don't you' I just stared. 'I can help you if you will let me.' I thought to myself, sure no one else can, but to her I said 'Ok.' So, she said 'don't go away, I'll be right back.' When she returned, she had a box with some little bottles. I had no idea what she had. She was also talking on the phone. She asked if she could put 'these' on me. I said sure although I didn't know what these were. Then she put some 'drops' in the palm of one hand and had me rub my hand together and then breath together. 'Have a nice drive.' I said, 'that's it?' She said 'yep, let me know how you feel when you get back.' So we took off. Ten minutes later, my complex chronic migraine that no one had been able to touch that I had had for months, was completely gone. I felt like little scrubbing bubbles were cleaning my brain and my whole body was relaxing. It was truly amazing. When we got back I told her my experience and told her I wanted a gallon of whatever it was. She told me she has used doTERRA Essential Oils on me.

6. I Am Such A Glutz

When I came to, I called Bob and said I need you to come home. He said he knew, Cecil had called him. I told him I thought I had broken my wrist. I don't think I hung up the phone. I passed out again. When I woke up again, there he was, kneeling next to me. He asked me what I thought we should do, I said I wasn't sure, so call my cousin who was an EMT. I must have closed my eyes because when I next opened them, DK was there as well as Dent. DK said 'You are going to have to go to the hospital in an ambulance, sweetheart.' I said, 'I know, but would you promise me something. Would you give me Versed so I won't remember being moved? I broke my wrist and at some point it is really going to start hurting.' He said, 'Are you sure you broke your wrist?' and I said I was. So he wanted to check my sugar. About that time, the ambulance came. I don't remember much after that. Wonderful Versed. I woke up every once in a while to 'Honey what drugs are you allergic to?' and I remember saying, 'Fentanyl and ...' then I'd hear, 'yes sweetie we know, but what else?' 'Ask he...' 'Which he?' 'You know...he?' Then I'd go to sleep again. Well they had a problem with 'he' because there was DK, Dent, and Bob none of which were in the ambulance with me, lol. Finally, in the ER a nurse came in again and she said, 'Sweetie, what are you allergic to?' 'Fentanyl and ... ' 'Yes, Sweetie we know but what else?' 'Please ask he...' 'Which he?' Just then Bob walked in ... and I cried 'HE!' So the nurse turned to him as he walked over to me and took my right hand. I had tears running down my face, I was so frustrated. So the nurse, asked him who he was and then started answering the questions. He asked me if I was in pain. When I said yes, the nurse ran out of the room and I don't remember anything else for a week. Honestly!

Apparently, I broke the big bone and it then slid into the little bone and sliced it in two. I was taken immediately into surgery. They fixed my bones, which were a hair from my wrist, they put in a plate with 4 screws. 4 very long screws. Screws so long that they are now causing me problems, but that is for later. I am so surprised that this didn't bring the RSD/CRPS back! The Doctor was shocked at how fast I healed, how well the bones knit together, so that at the end of 8 weeks they couldn't even see the break.

So now I was back in therapy again. This time it was with a different clinic. Now because of my experience with the RSD/CRPS, I already knew the exercises to do for my wrist and was already doing them when I went to therapy. They were painful, but I wanted to get my wrist back to full capacity. I also wanted to figure out why my knees were giving out, but none of the doctors seemed to be worried about that! I hadn't found the right doctor. I hadn't found the right therapist. I also hadn't found the right nutrition. I still had a lot of research to do. 

I was so frustrated that I kept getting these difficulties. I kept getting sick, so obviously my immune system had a major problem. It was time to research that! I kept breaking things. What was up with that? I was not a happy camper!

5. My New Life Without Pain Meds

Now to learn what Fibromyalgia really is. Research time! Get out the notebooks, start interviewing anyone who will talk to me. Get out the phone! Sleep, good grief I'm tired! Good thing I'm taking notes! Hunting online! Good thing I can identify bad research, there sure is a lot of it out there and some really funny stuff too. It's almost like 'did you hear the one about ... '

I really hate that because I know that there are gullible people out there who are going to believe these things and then are going to be let down. It looks like I'm going to have to write articles because there are a lot of holes, a lot of holes. 

This is how I kept myself going during this time. Researching and letting God lead me and guide me. The Doctors kept trying me on this medicine and that medicine and I simply could not take them. I reacted so badly. I could hardly walk because of the RSD/CRPS so I was sent to Physical Therapy. I went to one and wasn't overly impressed, but I went. I can't say that they really did a lot for me, but they were with the Clinic and I think that they weren't all that involved with me. I was feeling weak and didn't feel like I was really gaining. 

I started coughing and nothing I did could stop the coughing. My chest was really hurting, so I went to the Doctor. By the time we went, I could hardly sit up for more than 2 minutes, so I might have waited a bit long. Breathing was getting really hard as well. When I registered, the woman took one look at me and told me to sit down immediately. As soon as I sat down, the nurse was there to hold my arm and help me to the closest room. The Doctor was in the room waiting. She listened to my chest, took my temp and announced I had Legionnaires Disease. How I got that I have no idea!

I was immediately put in the hospital where I was put on oxygen. I was also put on IV antibiotics and the Respiratory Dept came 3 times a day. So much for any kind of sleep. When I got home, I was told I was to be on bed rest for at least a week. Well grand. Life just could not get worse!

My cousin came to live with us, so it was easy to stay in bed, but one night I wanted to tell Bob something. Just as I got to the doorway, my knees gave out. I fell like a lead balloon! My right foot turned upside down and I ended up with an entire foot bruise on my bottom. I broke the 3 middle bones on the top of my foot about an eighth of an inch from my ankle. Boy oh boy did I scream! And scream! And cough! Bob came running, took one look at me and got the wheelchair. It was a struggle getting me into that thing. He took me to the couch, propped my foot up and went and got some ice. By the time he got back it was already swelling so I said I thought we better wrap it.

three hours later we were at the ER. I said, 'since I think I just sprained it, watch I broke a bone.' The Doctor walked in just then and said '3 actually' Life was not going the right direction at all!

The next day, we went to a foot ortho. I just loved him! He looked at me and said that I was headed to surgery. I was afraid the RSD would come back. He also said I would need a plate. I had to wait a week though until the swelling went down. 

I was back on pain pills, but I told him I only wanted hydrocodone and nothing stronger. I was so disappointed. I didn't want anything, but I couldn't stand the pain. Anyway, to surgery we went. I remember very little. I know we did not have to have a plate. He didn't have to even open the skin. He said that he was able to manipulate the bones into place without having to open me up and put in a plate.  So I was put into a cast for 12 weeks and then a boot for another 8 weeks and then a cane for another 8 weeks. It took forever to heal. Then I got off the pain pills again.

About a year later, I got pneumonia and back on bedrest I went. This time, my caretakers were my daughter-in-law and my Granddaughter. My foot was still sore, so I was supposed to have it raised for swelling, my Fibro was misbehaving, I felt like crap and I was thirsty as can be. So one day, my caregivers were very late, like over an hour, and I was so dry I needed something to drink so bad, so I thought I can get my own drink. It doesn't take that long. I called my daughter so if something happened, I'd have her on the phone. With cane in the other hand, I headed for the kitchen. I leaned the cane against the counter and the phone on the counter on speaker phone. Then I held on to the counter as I opened the Frig and got out the tea pitcher. I poured the tea into my glass and then my knees gave out again and down I went. The phone landed on the floor, the glass landed on the floor just right, the pitcher however, landed between my legs upside down and it was so cold. I landed on the floor, holding my left hand out to try to catch myself and yelled 'ow, ow, ow, ow, .....' My daughter kept saying 'Mom do you need help, Mom, Mom, Mom...' I said 'Yes call Daddy...' and then I passed out for about 10 minutes.

4. Faith Takes Over

During this time, I spent a lot of time depending completely on God to lead me through life. Getting off of Oxycontin was difficult, but I was doing okay, although the shakiness was making me crazy. The nurse said I going too fast if I was shaky, but I wanted off of that damn stuff! Every time I took a pill, I felt like vomiting because I felt like I was putting poison in my body. I had already discovered that I was making my Fibromyalgia worse by taking pain medication and the pain from the Fibromyalgia was bad enough. 

Finally, I was taking that poison every other day, so I stopped. Just stopped. About 8 hours after my 2 days were up, I got so much nervous energy I starting running around the house like the little 'Energizer Bunny' on uppers. It scared my family to death. I felt like my heart was going to explode. I just ran and ran and ran. Our house was one of those that you could run in circles pretty easily and I did. Around and around and around. This seemed to last forever and then I ran into Bob's arms and said 'just hold me really really hard and don't let me explode.' And he did. When it stopped, I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle. I was weak and shaken to the core and Bob had to hold me upright to get me to the couch. 

Bob quietly asked me if I was all right. Our daughter had gotten a wet wash cloth and was washing my face and neck. Her girlfriend was watching the whole thing in horror. My daughter asked 'Mom is it over?' I smiled and said it was and I had lived through it. I thanked them all for helping me and then I said 'don't EVER do drugs!' I was done! I was finally off Oxycodone!

When I told the nurse what happened, she told me I had as much as almost gone off cold turkey. I asked her how that could be, when I was at the 2-day level? She said the way you reacted tells me that you weren't ready to stop completely. You could have had a heart attack.  Well, I guess I had my Angels watching over me again. Never will I go on that garbage again. Since then I have discovered Oxycodone is synthetic heroin. Really!!! What the ... to tell you the truth, that makes me angry as ... if I hadn't been determined not to become an addict, I would have ended up on heroin and ruined my family!

Why in God's name would Doctor's give that to anyone, knowing what it is? Why are the drug companies allowed to create this? It is like the government is allowing them to create a legal synthetic illegal drug and handing it out patients willy nilly without telling them what it is and how dangerous it is. It is totally outrageous to me! Since I have been on it, and was dependent on it, not addicted, and now I have gotten off of it, I hold the government as responsible for the addiction crisis of this drug as the drug companies for making it, as well as the Doctors who are getting kickbacks for handing out these drugs. And did I say I am angry?

Spouse Support

Spouses, Significant Others, Children & Family: Need Support

Written: Deb Lundquist

May 13, 2017

One day your loved one is happy, fun, and full of life. They are doing everything they usually do and life is fine.

Then in a blink of the eye, they are someone you don’t even know. They look the same, but all they do is lay around on the couch or in bed. They cry a lot. They don’t cook like they did before or at all. They ask you to do things they used to do and you don’t know why.

They don’t go to work anymore or if they do, they take a lot of sick days, or they come home, crying and go straight to bed. They are on a lot of medications that don’t seem to do anything. They forget things all the time, they say things funny like they can’t think of words or their words are really slurry like they are drunk. They don’t want to go anywhere and have fun. They keep cancelling events with their friends and you keep making excuses for them and it is embarrassing.


You don’t know what to do to help them, yourselves or your family. You are afraid of now and the future and you don’t know where to go for help or even if you want to help. Well if you are married, I want you to remember two things. This is the same person your fell in love with and the one you promised for better or worse, so you need to stick around and keep that promise.

However, you are the forgotten.

You are the ones who are the truly invisible. The ones who need the support the most because you are the ones who really feel that you are the only ones dealing with these issues.

Let’s correct that one misconception. You are NOT alone! There are millions of you! However, there isn’t a good support system for you. That is truly a shame and needs to be fixed.

We can address some problems here, however, and try to help you understand what is happening to your life and the life of your loved one. You haven’t lost your loved one. They are still in there. It is just they are stuck and don’t know how to get help themselves. They need your help.

1. First, it’s called Fibromyalgia and it changes everyone’s life forever. You have become a caregiver, not something you ever thought you would be until you were old, but there it is. Life isn’t always fair and never promised to be. You need to lean heavily on your faith if you have any.

2. At first, it seems never ending and like your life has taken a turn into hell. Hang in there and be strong for both of you. Research and talk about it together, because as frightened as you are, your spouse is even more frightened. You need to keep communication open and the two of you need to stay tight as a unit! I buried my head under the covers while my husband did the research. When he came into the bedroom to tell me what he discovered, I said, ‘all I want to know is, is it going to kill me?’ His answer was, ‘only if you let it.’ That was enough to get my attention. And no, it isn't going to kill you.

3. Second, your spouse needs a Team to help her/him to get through life with Fibromyalgia and you need to be the second person on that team. They are the first. In order to do that, you need to educate yourself, you need to get plenty of rest, you need to believe everything your spouse is saying about how they feel because they aren’t lying and you need understand that. That will lessen the stress between the two of you and will help with your communication and your research, even if what your spouse is saying sounds crazy. It isn’t. I asked my husband what advise he would give you and this is exactly what he said, ‘Listen, Listen, Listen. Even though your life is turned upside down, their life is worse and no matter what, you have no idea what they are really going through. So, listen and believe everything they say.’ Go to the Doctor with them so you can get a little bit of understanding of what is going on and if their Doctor isn’t listening to them, help them get the right kind of Doctor and one that will help them.

4. You need to find support for yourself. Positive support! This is extremely important for you! You cannot allow any negativity in your life or your spouses! It will tear apart your marriage! So, you need to educate your extended family and if they will not believe in what you are saying, don’t let them tear down your spouse! That will only cause more pain for both of you! You need to stand strong for the both of you, that includes parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. If you keep trying to educate them and they simply won’t listen, walk away. It isn’t worth the pain to keep trying to talk to a brick wall that isn’t going to listen.

5. You may need to start seeing a psychologist yourself to help you through these hard times. It can cause depression for you as well because you will go through a mourning process too. You have lost a part of your life and entered a new chapter and it isn’t one you ever envisioned. Your children may need this kind of help as well.

6. You need to educate your friends and your pastor because they are going to be part of your support system. Unfortunately, you’re going to lose some and that is going to be painful. However, again like I said in 4, you can’t allow negativity in your life or it will destroy your marriage. Those that stick around were your true friends anyway. The ones that leave, were never your true friends. You may even have to change churches. We did.

7. Sometimes, a lot of the time, your spouse is going to cancel on events you were going to do together. It is inconvenient, but can’t be helped. We never know even one hour to the next how we are going to feel. I know sometimes I would will feel great and the next, I would will feel so exhausted that I just wouldn't know if I could sit up any longer. It is incredibly disappointing to us when we need to cancel and we feel just awful when we see the look on your face when we tell you we can’t go yet again and you have to go by yourself. Sometimes you go by yourself, sometimes you stay home, sometimes we cry at your disappointment, but you need to understand that we can’t help it. Please don’t make us feel guilty or blame us. We know it can be very frustrating for you. You can make one of two choices; one is to stay home and spend quality time with your spouse. The other is to go and spend some quality time with family or friends, explaining to them that your spouse’s sickness didn’t allow her to come. Do not feel guilty. You need to have time away sometimes. You do need to have fun without feeling guilty. However, don’t be gone all the time, leaving your spouse alone constantly with no one at home.

8. We appreciate everything that you do for us even if we don’t tell you enough. You have had to changed roles and yet, you do it anyway and we want you to know that we recognize everything you do! We didn’t ask for this and we would rather be the one doing the things we are asking you to do. We try to do the things that we can, but we have no energy plus when we try to do things it increases our pain.

9. It is nice to date. It is fun and your spouse loves that too. If your spouse can’t leave the house, bring the date to your spouse. Set-up a nice table, if you have to by the bed or couch. Put a tablecloth, flowers and nice china on it. Play soft music and if you don’t want to cook, get takeout from a nice restaurant. Then after you eat, watch a movie together. Have a date every week or two to keep the romance and love alive.

10. Make sure you tell each other that you love each other all the time and tell them that you still think they are beautiful/handsome and that they are very important to you. At this point, they don’t think they have any meaning left in life and they don’t think they are lovable anymore.

11. Get your spouse out of the house as often as you can. Otherwise they get cabin fever and that deepens their depression which makes it even worse for you.

12. Do things around the house that you enjoy, like a hobby or something. We have a very large yard, 3 acres. My husband says he likes to mow because that gives him time alone to just veg and be by himself without interruption. He says it is his form of therapy, just him and God. My son does leather work.

Please make sure you get support for yourself and make sure your spouse knows you still love them and they will let you know they love you back. If you stay together as a unit, nothing can tear you apart!