4. Faith Takes Over
During this time, I spent a lot of time depending completely on God to lead me through life. Getting off of Oxycontin was difficult, but I was doing okay, although the shakiness was making me crazy. The nurse said I going too fast if I was shaky, but I wanted off of that damn stuff! Every time I took a pill, I felt like vomiting because I felt like I was putting poison in my body. I had already discovered that I was making my Fibromyalgia worse by taking pain medication and the pain from the Fibromyalgia was bad enough.
Finally, I was taking that poison every other day, so I stopped. Just stopped. About 8 hours after my 2 days were up, I got so much nervous energy I starting running around the house like the little 'Energizer Bunny' on uppers. It scared my family to death. I felt like my heart was going to explode. I just ran and ran and ran. Our house was one of those that you could run in circles pretty easily and I did. Around and around and around. This seemed to last forever and then I ran into Bob's arms and said 'just hold me really really hard and don't let me explode.' And he did. When it stopped, I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle. I was weak and shaken to the core and Bob had to hold me upright to get me to the couch.
Bob quietly asked me if I was all right. Our daughter had gotten a wet wash cloth and was washing my face and neck. Her girlfriend was watching the whole thing in horror. My daughter asked 'Mom is it over?' I smiled and said it was and I had lived through it. I thanked them all for helping me and then I said 'don't EVER do drugs!' I was done! I was finally off Oxycodone!
When I told the nurse what happened, she told me I had as much as almost gone off cold turkey. I asked her how that could be, when I was at the 2-day level? She said the way you reacted tells me that you weren't ready to stop completely. You could have had a heart attack. Well, I guess I had my Angels watching over me again. Never will I go on that garbage again. Since then I have discovered Oxycodone is synthetic heroin. Really!!! What the ... to tell you the truth, that makes me angry as ... if I hadn't been determined not to become an addict, I would have ended up on heroin and ruined my family!
Why in God's name would Doctor's give that to anyone, knowing what it is? Why are the drug companies allowed to create this? It is like the government is allowing them to create a legal synthetic illegal drug and handing it out patients willy nilly without telling them what it is and how dangerous it is. It is totally outrageous to me! Since I have been on it, and was dependent on it, not addicted, and now I have gotten off of it, I hold the government as responsible for the addiction crisis of this drug as the drug companies for making it, as well as the Doctors who are getting kickbacks for handing out these drugs. And did I say I am angry?