Fibromyalgia Stages of Mourning

When you develop a chronic illness, you go through a period of mourning. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic, but it is a truth. 


The first stage is Denial:

This isn't happening. There isn't happening to me. This happens to other people. Besides, if the Drs. can't find anything, there must not be anything wrong. I mean look at me. Looking at myself in the mirror, even I don't see anything wrong except that I look tired.


The second stage is Anger:

Anger at God or a Higher Being for allowing this to happen to you. Anger at a friend who was with you when it happened, if you were in an accident. You got it, they didn't, especially if they then deserted you later. 'How dare you let this happen!'


The third stage is Bargaining:

Mine was with God when I was bargaining about my RSD. 'Let's meet for tea and bring your bag of tricks. Pick out something else that isn't going to kill me and just put my RSD to sleep.' Well, we did. Sort of. He put the RSD to sleep, although I still have to go and get blocks once and awhile. His new disease was Fibromyalgia. I threw my hands up in the air and said 'God, I do not appreciate your sense of humor! What am I supposed to do with this?' I heard loud and clear 'EDUCATE!' I was in the car and it echoed and echoed. So that became my purpose!


The fourth stage is Depression:

Experiencing listlessness or exhaustion combined with feelings of helplessness, guilt and lack of interest in life. “I might as well give up.” I know we have all felt this, because not only do we feel it as we go through the stages of mourning, but we feel it with Fibromyalgia. Can we say double whammy! Seeing a Psychologist or Counselor at this point is very important! Then finally,


The fifth stage is Acceptance:

Facing the loss and moving on, returning to setting goals in your life and focusing your energy more positively. “I’m ready to deal with this now.” With some of us with Fibromyalgia, it is extremely difficult to reach this point because we refuse to let go of the past. We refuse to stop saying 'I want my life back.'


Well, the first thing you have to do, is release your past so that you can move forward. You also need to start learning to live in the here and now and planning for the future. You can look at the past, but with happy thoughts, not with regret and depression.


Your Fibromyalgia, LLC support group has members going through various stages of this mourning process. If you would like to join the support group. Click on this link https://business.facebook.com/yourfibromyalgia/, message me with your email and I will add you to our database.

Deb Lundquist
 

After 18 years of living with this as a roommate, I feel I know Fibromyalgia well. Now, it is my passion to help people with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain take back control of their lives.